Lonely Work

Regarding your post, "Reengagement" - 


You don't even like us, huh? Ha... wow, that certainly is honest!! :-) I know how you feel though, Tom... pastoring ain't for the weak of heart for certain. Every ministry situation is kind of the same, only radically different! And (in my limited experience) church planting is an incredibly lonely, up-and-down process that pushes you to your limits of doubt, frustration, and confusion. Oh, there's joy to be found and collected along the way, but dang, it ain't a walk in the park by any means. Back in seminary, I knew what I wanted to do, and was ready to go out and do it - I'd attract a bunch of on-fire disciples along the way (all of us ready to take on the world), and we'd transform our community by loving God and loving our neighbor. Easy, right? But nearly four years later, and hmmmm... people seem more independent, aloof, and whacked-out busy than on fire. 


Heck, I'd like to think I'd settle for medium warm Christianity... but too much of the time the embers are nearly ready to die out. Actually, some of those embers actually have died, which is heartbreaking and a serious blow to the ego. It's like watching a train wreck in that I've watched people I dearly love just walk away from me (and my teaching)... from the church... and from God. They don't like what I said, or what I didn't say... or what I did or didn't do. Deep down, I know they're probably rejecting how close God is getting and they feel the heat of His presence - but that doesn't make it any easier when they blame the pastor, does it?


“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” -Mother Teresa


So ya, I'm ready to reengage with some fellow sojourners, that is, if ya'll are so inclined. Frankly, I don't think I bring a lot of profound insight to the table, but nevertheless, I have learned a few things along the way... and would love to (re)discover a group of peers with which to occasionally discuss them. Let's tear down those "walls" of isolation and enjoy some time conversing.

REENGAGEMENT

Howdy all,
My oh My. the past year has kinda been a bumber. I have been reading the book by Janet Hagberg entitled, "The Critical Journey" which discusses the stages of discipleship in a descriptive was as opposed to a prescriptive on and has enlivened me to a great many things about my faith and journey. The book describes an experience of "the wall" where we enter into a time of doubt, questioning previously adhered to presuppositions, etc. This is fine for others on their journey, but not the pastor!!!! We are to have all of those things figured out and are here to lead others through this "wall" experience.
Without a doubt, I have been in a battle with this Wall experience for perhaps as many as 4 years. I have tried to deny it, avoid it, go around it, over it, ANYTHING BUT THROUGH IT!!
It is only recently that I have had some moments of Epiphany, (not intentionally connected with the church calendar)
Interestingly, in "The Critical Journey" part of the description of the "wall" experience is the journey inward and a tendency to isolate. That is definitely descriptive of my journey which explains why I have not been active in blogging. I would not blog with a fox, I would not blog in a box, I would not blog here or there, i would not blog anywhere. I even at one time convinced myself, "why should i blog here, I don't even like you guys". Sorry, but part of pushing through is becoming more honest on the other side.  
So there you have it. I would enjoy reengaging here with you. Let me know your thoughts.

Hello? Bueller?

Anyone still here? I feel so alone.

Exasperating God

In Deuteronomy 3, God says to Moses, "That is enough. Do not speak to me again about this matter." Simple question really. What have you pestered God about that has driven him to this response? What is the difference in persistence and annoyance?

Do we provoke the Ammonites?

I was in Deuteronomy 2 this morning and I began to notice a pattern. Three times in this chapter God tells Israel not to harass or provoke to war the groups of people they encounter on their journey. First it’s the descendants of Esau, then the Moabites, then the Ammonites. The repetition told me there was something here for me to dwell on. I think there is significance in the fact that God didn’t just not tell them to attack on their way through, but specifically told them not to. It wasn’t their mission. God tells them that he will not give even enough of this land for them to set their foot on. This was not their battle.

How often do we provoke the Ammonites on our way through the desert? We're mad at God for making us wait on something. We are mad at ourselves for the mistake we made that caused the wandering to be necessary. Or we're just grumpy for a reason we can't even identify. And here come the Ammonites (insert your favorite scapegoat here) and we just start wailing on them. It feels good for a moment doesn’t it? We even convince ourselves that we are acting out of righteous indignation and not anger, frustration and spite. The sad thing is how often the Ammonites I attack are my family, friends or church.

Anyone else have this issue?

...I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land...

Poverty--how do you guys deal with it? Both Moses and Jesus tell us that we'll always have the poor with us and of course that's true, but isn't it true at least in part because God's people fall short of doing his will? For example:

⁴ However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the LORD your God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, he will richly bless you, ⁵ if only you fully obey the LORD your God and are careful to follow all these commands I am giving you today.

Deuteronomy 15:4-5

So in what ways are you guys fully obeying God's call to minister to the poor? Trust me I don't intend for that to sound like a challenge, and we can't claim to be getting this right on our end, I am sincerely curious as to what it looks like for you. I want to know what programs you have in place. Do you lean on other community groups? If so which ones are helpful? Do you point folks to DSHS? What sort of things do you help with? Do you have a compassionate fund? If so is it funded, and how? Have you taken any measures to protect yourselves from abuse? Where do you draw the “enabling” line?

In my experience as a church planter I find this a very difficult issue. Money is tight everywhere. By American standards our staff and nearly our entire congregation are among the poor. But it isn't a simple issue, here are some options I'd like to avoid, mostly 'cuz they don't seem to work for us:

1. Leave it undone

2. Give 'em another number to simply alleviate my guilt/burden/commitment

3. Make excuses like, "we do what we can, our congregation is poor"

Okay I’m nearly done. Just one bad pun left: How do we continually pour into the poor?

Radical Obedience

This week we were studying Jesus words to His disciples in John 14 where He says "if you love me, you will keep my commandments". He continues the theme throughout this section with addition of a promise that He will send, "The Spirit that will guide them into truth". Powerful challenge and promise wrapped up into one.
It seems to me that this a call to "radical obedience" with the provision of One to carry it out.

So, I am wondering how this radical obedience has played itself out in your lives? To what has Christ called you to be obedient and how has the Spirit enlightened you with the truth and power to carry it out?